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Anger Regulation

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

This is one of my favorite sayings to help kids (and grown ups) understand how to cope with anger! I like to remind kids that it is okay that they are mad, I want them to tell us when something makes them mad! Your child is ALLOWED to be mad. But it is not okay to be mean. Mean is any type of ...

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How to say No to your child

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

We want our children to listen to us, but we also want them to feel confident that they have good ideas to share and we care what they think. Finding this balance can be tricky- especially with a strong willed child- I am not *against* saying no, but I am *for* saving it for special needed times. A ...

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Environmental Consequences vs Blanket Consequences

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

I consider taking away a child’s video games / phone in most cases, a “blanket consequence.” A blanket consequence is a consequence that is given as parents in every situation that our child disobeys us because we feel that it is “the only thing that will get their ...

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We say it is *okay to ask for help*

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

But I want to further this statement and say that it is *okay to ask for help with your child* It does not make you a bad parent to ask for help. Really I think it makes you a better parent since parenting is a skill that is learned over time. No one knows everything...

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Child development

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

When I was teacher who supported student teachers to learn about child development I often watched how the new teachers would interact with the children. Overtime, I noticed a pattern in teachers that would be able to have their students have less tantrums more often then others and I watched to see...

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Honesty

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Teaching our kids and teens to be honest is a big part of parenting and often a concern many parents have. We often see dishonesty come up in developmental stages of 4-5 and again in those teen years. If your child is struggling with being dishonest, try these 3 things: 1. Set them up for success- ...

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Children grieve differently

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

To be honest, we all grieve differently and that is good and okay. But I know many parents worry about the way that their child may be grieving a loss. The reason children can grieve so differently is because of their developmental age and how that affects their ability to understand loss and time. ...

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We always ask our children to “Listen!”

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

We always ask our children to “Listen!” but do we model healthy listening skills for them? Do they know how? Maybe go over active listening with your kiddo, and take some time to self-reflect on if you are modeling active listening to them when your child speaks... or your spouse

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*Communication Tip*

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

In grad school my supervisor taught me to always be intentional when asking why as it can make people respond in a defensive way. I now use this technique to help parents and teens communicate better. Instead of saying “why did you download that app” try saying “tell me more about ...

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Parenting To Build Self-Esteem

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Parenting to build self esteem starts with believing in your own child. Set them up to push their limits daily in a safe way. Such as having them pay the target cashier with you standing there, ordering their own food from the waiter, or going for that 3rd monkey bar. Believe in them and celebrate ...

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Shame

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Shame is one of the hardest emotions to cope with....for grown ups- so imagine what it is like to have to known what to do with it as a child. The best way to cope with shame is to recognize it and OWN IT. For example saying “man I am feeling so shameful right now.” It is important to ...

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Social Media and Teens

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

I have never heard a teen say to me that social media builds their self-esteem. I understand that social media is a huge part of their social lives so I do not want to take it away completely but asking your teen “what makes you want to use social media” is extremely important. If their ...

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Mullet Parenting

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

I often say parenting should be like a mullet. With the “business being up front” If you know a situation is going to be hard for your child ex. going to grandmas house or going to target and not getting a toy this time. It is good to think ahead of the meltdown and try to prevent it. By...

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Birth To Five

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

*I do not have a favorite age.. I do not have a favorite age* but I loveeeee working with the birth to five kiddos! I love getting to help them securely attach to their caregivers and help them view the world as a safe place to explore. I also love all the pretend play, block building and the ...

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Teachers

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

As a systemic therapist (and retired teacher) I love getting to be a part of helping children succeed in the classroom. Whether it be coordination of care with teachers for IEP and 504 meetings, or helping children practice skills for motivation, focus, or increased emotional regulation in the ...

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Solution Focused Therapy

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Solution-Focused Therapy is an approach that empowers clients to own their abilities in solving life's problems. Rather than traditional psychotherapy that focuses on how a problem was derived, SFT allows for a goal-oriented focus to problem-solving. I believe that *most* therapy involving ...

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My Teens ??

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

One of the best compliments I have ever got was when one of my teens left my office and said “I have the trendiest therapist” I absolutely love working with teens, because of the time I grew up, I experienced life before technology and life after all while still being a teen. This helps ...

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Middle School

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Middle school clients will always have a special place in my heart. I always joke that I want to put a picture behind me of me in 7th grade in my office with the words “It gets better... I swear” lol Middle school is one of the hardest times in a child’s development between ...

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Growth Mindset

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

A fixed mindset in this scenario is convincing yourself that you can't make them happy or that things won't go well for you at all. A growth mindset example for this is having the confidence that you'll make it through. Sure, it's possible that you will make mistakes, but it's an...

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The Importance of Play

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Something that was taught to me again and again during my time teaching at Arizona State University’s Child Development Lab is child’s first language is play. Child led play is so important and needed for their development to explore ideas and understand them. So don’t be afraid to...

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You can do hard things

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

In sessions, when I ask kids (and parents) what is keeping them from change, often the answer is that “It is hard.” Early in my years of practice I started to wonder when something being hard became an acceptable reason not to do it? In my office there is a huge sign that says “You...

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Perspective Taking

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

In some sessions, I do an activity where I have everyone follow my directions and draw a picture of a bug without looking at each-others papers. I say things like “it has 7 legs” and “it has polkadots” At the end I have everyone show their bugs (which turn out so different) ...

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Adjustment Disorder

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

Adjustment disorder are stress-related conditions. You experience more stress than would normally be expected in response to a stressful or unexpected event, and the stress causes significant problems in your relationships, at work or at school. Adjustment Disorders often become present when big ...

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Family Life Cycle

Dealing with Mental Trauma of Severe Desease

The family life cycle is a series of stages through which a family may pass over time. Typical stages in family development include the periods of a single young adult, a newly married couple, a family with young children, a family with adolescents, launching the children, and a family in later ...

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